Heero Yuy, Seventh Grade Teacher? Omake 2
by Kala Mekiv
Summary: Finally finished! Trunks and Goten decided to do a documentary on their *Favorite* teacher during spring break... Dear God, the horror.
1. Part 1

Heero Yuy, Seventh Grade Teacher? Omake 2a   
Spring Break - Part 1!  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, Dragonball Z, or Sailormoon. If you truly believe that I own any of those shows, then answer this question for me: Where's my millions from royalties?   
Note: This Omake will be broken into 'parts', since I really don't feel like having to upload a 100+k file! ^_^ And PLEASE read my note at the end of this!!  
*********************

Heero groaned as he awoke to the sound of his rather annoying alarm clock. Instinctively, the ex-Gundam pilot turned seventh grade history teacher grabbed his gun, and blew the alarm clock to hell. 'Damn, now I have to get a new one!' he thought as he jumped out of bed and glanced at his calendar. He groaned again after realizing that he didn't need to get up early at all, since the school was on 'spring break' for the next two weeks. 'Oh well, I might as well work on my Gundam or something.' he decided as he headed for the shower.

-------  
Trunks and Goten were hiding in some nearby bushes, armed with a video camera and a microphone. The little demi-Saiyajins were dressed in some camouflage, hoping that it would help disguise them better. Trunks even had a hat on with some branches sticking out of it to help cover his lovely purple hair. It was Trunks' idea to make a 'documentary' about what their **favorite** teacher did over his spring break. Goten was going along with it since he was, after all, Trunks' best friend.

"Um, Trunks," Goten whispered, looking at his friend as he was trying to look for his binoculars. "Are you sure Mr. Yuy lives in THAT apartment building?"

"For the last time, Goten, YES!" Trunks snapped, trying to keep his voice under a 'normal' volume level. "I followed him home one day, and I *saw* him walk into that very apartment with my own eyes!"

"Hai, hai, Trunks-kun! I believe you!" Goten replied, doing the patented Son Goku hand-behind-head-thing while grinning like a complete idiot. "Hey! Is that him?" he asked, pointing to someone across the street who had just walked out of the apartment building.

"Hai!" Trunks answered back, then threw the camcorder at Goten and grabbed the microphone. "Lights...camera...action! Konnichiwa, minna! I'm your host, Trunks Vegeta-Briefs, and I have a treat for you, my loyal fans! Here, I hope to present you with a wonderful documentary about what Peacecraft Academy's favorite teacher, Mr. Heero Yuy, does in his spare time!"

"Not like we really want to know or anything," Goten whispered off-camera. Trunks groaned, then smacked his best friend upside the head. "WHAT?" the younger demi-Saiyajin snapped as he rubbed the spot Trunks had hit him at.

"Be quiet!" Trunks snapped. He quickly turned around to make sure no one saw their hiding place and to see if Mr. Yuy was still somewhere near the apartment building. He managed to spot Heero at the door, reading the paper. Trunks sighed in relief, and faced the camera once more.

"This part of the documentary will cover what the elusive Heero Yuy does early in the morning. As you can see, he stands by the doorway of the cave he lives in and reads something very interesting. Hmm, I wonder what he's reading," Trunks said, grabbing the binoculars from poor Goten's neck, who was trying to keep the camera steady and focused on the completely obvlious Heero. "Well, well! It would seem that the Heero Yuy creature is reading the...personal ads?!" Trunks blurted out in a slightly squeaky voice. Goten, who inherited his acute Saiyajin hearing from his father, dropped the camera to cover his ears, and broke it. Trunks angrily turned to his friend, pounced on him, and proceeded to beat the hell out of him.

"Trunks-kun! I'm sorry!" Goten whimpered as he was getting klobbered by the older boy. Trunks, in his angry rage, accidently went Super Saiyajin and continued beating on poor Goten in their hiding place.

-------  
Heero continued reading the personals ad in the Sanq Kingdom Times as he rode the elevator back to the floor where the apartment he shared with Duo and Trowa was located. "Damnit! Why aren't any of these women interested in someone who was an ex-Gundam pilot!?" snapped the Japanese pilot. He sighed, then left the elevator. He read a few of the ads outloud to himself as he walked down the hallway.

"'Single white female seeks the company of a single white male interested in fencing duels and wars.' That sounds like something that crazy cockroach girl Dorothy would want. What else...'Single white female looking for an assassin-type single Japanese male...must know how to say 'Omae o korosu!' the 'right' way'...That sounds like...RELENA!?" Heero screeched after he saw the phone number listed and dropped the paper. He was so deeply in shock that he managed to run right into a wall, and nearly broke his nose. As he rubbed his head, Heero bent down, picked up the paper, and re-read it. 'This sure does sound like Relena.' he thought as he turned around to go into his apartment. He looked around to make sure no one else was up yet, and much to his surprise, both Trowa and Duo were still asleep.

"Thank Kami-sama," he muttered to himself as he snuck in. He flopped onto a nearby couch and sighed. "Well, I *did* promise to take Relena out somewhere a few months ago, when that Saiyajin prince bastard decided to kick my ass that day," he said to himself, debating mentally whether or not to call Relena and ask her out. Little did he know that two other 'someones' were watching him and heard every last word of the conversation....

------  
"Trunks-kun! Did you get that in the recording!?" Goten asked excitedly, turning to Trunks. The purple haired wonder boy nodded in response, and Goten nearly shrieked with joy. He would have too, if Trunks didn't stuff an apple into the youngest son of Goku's mouth. Goten quickly ate the apple, then looked at Trunks again. "Do you think Mr. Yuy likes Miss Peacecraft?" he asked innocently. Trunks looked at the his fellow demi-Saiyajin and chuckled.

"Of course he does," Trunks replied. Both of the the boys had levitated up to the window of the apartment Heero, Duo, and Trowa shared. "Why do you think he lets us get away with some stuff in class whenever she's around? Don't you notice how he's always saying her first name?"

"Yeah! He always daydreams about Miss Peacecraft!" Goten answered back, recalling several instances where their history teacher would look out the window and whisper "Relena." "Why doesn't he just tell her that he likes her?"

"I don't know," Trunks said, wondering himself why his teacher didn't just admit his feelings for their principal. Another one of Goten's rather annoying comments broke his train of thought...

"Trunks-kun, remember that story Mr. Yuy told us about Miss Peacecraft?" Goten asked him as Trunks groaned and gave him the Vegeta-style death glare.

"What about it?" Trunks asked back, slightly annoyed with Goten. Goten turned Trunks' head so that the boy was forced to look at his friend as he spoke.

"Well, remember how he told us that he was gonna kill Miss Peacecraft one day?" Goten said as Trunks nodded. "What if he's going to kill Miss Peacecraft? We might be the only witnesses to a murder!"

Trunks whacked Goten's head and growled. "Baka! He hasn't done anything yet, so you can't say we witnessed a murder!" he snapped as Goten rubbed the spot Trunks smacked him at. "But we can say we were there when he plotted the whole thing, AND that we have evidence!" Trunks said, patting the recorder he held gently. Goten's eyes lit up again, and he was going to scream when Trunks covered his mouth once more and gestured to the window. Both boys looked back into Heero's apartment and saw their teacher turning to grab a phone.

--------  
Heero grabbed the phone next to the couch, picked up the receiver and placed it next to his ear. His fingers were on the dial pad, ready to press down those seven numbers to someone special. He managed to build up enough courage to dial Relena's number and listened to the ringing. Someone picked it up at the other end, a *female* someone...

"Hello?" Relena answered. Heero held his breath and said nothing. "Who's speaking?" Heero just slammed the phone down and let out a primal scream. 

"K'SO! WHY CAN'T I DO IT!?!? WHY!!!" yelled the Wing Zero Gundam Pilot, not caring whether or not he woke anyone else up in the apartment, or the apartment building in general.

-------  
"He can't do it!" Trunks said in between his fits of laughter. He and Goten had nearly fallen from the sky when they saw their teacher scream and hang up the phone quickly. With their acute Saiyajin hearing, both boys were able to hear Miss Peacecraft on the other end of the phone, asking who the caller was.

"Trunks-kun, I can't believe that Mr. Yuy is scared of Miss Peacecraft!" Goten said, then started laughing again at the thought of Heero being confronted by Relena in the middle of the road...

[Begin Goten's Mental Image]

Heero is happily walking down the road, dressed in his usual green tank top and spandex shorts. In his arms, he's holding a bag of groceries, heading back to the apartment. Since he's busy daydreaming about Relena, he's completely unaware of what's going on around him, and runs right into a woman.

"Gomen! I didn't mean to run into you, miss!' Heero managed to stammer out as he quickly gathered everything he had dropped when he slammed into the woman. He finally looked up at the woman, and was shocked to find out it was Relena he had run right into. "Erm...um...Hi-i-i-i, Relena. Whaaat are you doing here?" he inquired, trying not to show how nervous he was. (For a better image: Imagine Tenchi whenever Ryoko's all over him, only Relena isn't all over Heero in this picture... ;))

"Heero!" Relena exclaimed, then glomped onto everyone's favorite suicidal bishounen. Heero turned beet red, and fainted in her arms.

[End Mental Image]

Trunks looked at Goten as he finished telling him about that wonderful little image and shook his head. 'Only Goten would think of something that incredibly stupid,' Trunks thought as he peeked inside Heero's apartment window. Trunks watched in slight horror as Heero picked up the phone again and started dialing. The purple haired boy assumed that he was going to call their principal again...

--------  
"This time, I will NOT fail the mission," Heero muttered to himself as he heard the dial tone change to a soft ringing noise. The same female voice answered at the other end, except there was a hint of annoyance in her voice when she spoke.

"Hello? Peacecraft residence," Relena said, hoping that this was the same person who had called a mere five minutes earlier. Heero mentally thanked whatever gods existed for the fact that he was NOT using the videophone, since he was starting to sweat and tremble.

"Uhh...I have the wrong number!" Heero answered back, in a non-monotone, almost non-Heero voice, and slammed the phone once more. Of course, this once again left a rather annoyed (one could almost say 'pissed off') Relena Peacecraft at the other end of the phone and Heero Yuy screaming and ranting on and on about how he 'failed the mission once more'. Once again, Heero was completely oblivious to the fact that there were two 12 and 13 year old demi-Saiyajins floating outside his apartment window who had heard the entire conversation and were laughing their asses off at his...'problem', for use of a better word. 

"Shimatta! I will try ONCE MORE!" Heero said, grabbing the phone once again and hit the redial button. This time, however, Relena wasn't the one who answered, it was Zechs. Unfortunately, Heero wasn't paying attention to who was at the other end, and blurted out, "I was wondering, Relena, will you go out with me?"

"What the hell!?!" snapped back Zechs. Heero snapped out of his semi-trance and paled. 'Oh shit, that was ZECHS I just asked out!' he thought. "Heero!? What kind of sick joke is THIS?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Heero shrieked, then slammed down the phone. Outside, the two demi-Saiyajins who had been blessed with the acute hearing from their fathers had their ears covered, and they continued to laugh at their teacher's predicament. With their extremely sensitive hearing, they had heard the entire conversation between Mr. Yuy and Miss Peacecraft's older brother. Heero's wonderful banshee-like scream was interrupted by the voice of Braid Boy.

"Heero! People **are** trying to sleep here, so could you keep it down?" Duo asked, his head stuck out in the hallway. Heero answered the American pilot with his classic, patented Death Glare and continued to scream. Duo opened his mouth to say some more, then he saw a shiny barrel pointed in his general direction. Since Duo wasn't a complete moron, he shut his mouth, stuck his head back into his room, and decided that dealing with the fact Heero would not stop screaming his head off would allow him to live well into his eighties or nineties. 

Trowa, however, did not follow Duo's example, and headed groggily towards the kitchen. Goten and Trunks saw Trowa appear from the hallway, dressed in nothing but Pokémon boxers, and proceeded to laugh their heads off some more. Goten managed to get a few snapshots of their teacher's friend, and ducked down as Trowa turned his head towards the window, wearing a puzzled look on his face. 

"I could have sworn I saw a camera's flash go off," Trowa murmured to himself, shrugged, then raided the pantry to find something to eat. When he found nothing he could call remotely edible there, he proceeded to move onto the refrigerator. Again, there was nothing to the Heavyarms pilot to eat, so he turned to Heero, who was STILL screaming his head off for some unknown reason. (Well, it was unknown to Trowa...)

"Heero, could you stop screaming for a minute?" Trowa asked. Heero snapped out of his screaming fit, regained his usual expressionless face, and turned to Trowa.

Suddenly, Duo popped his head out of the disaster area he called a room and said, "Trowa! Where did you get those kawaii Pokémon boxers!? OH MY GOD! Those are the ones with the glow-in-the-dark Pikachus on them!" Trowa, Heero, Trunks, and Goten sweatdropped. Trowa muttered something under his breath that neither Heero or Duo could pick up, but the two boys did. It was something along the lines of "They were a present from Catherine..."

"What the hell do you want?" Heero asked, breaking the silence that had come over the room, since Duo went back into his room to sleep some more. Trowa just sighed, then said, "We don't have anything to eat for breakfast, and it's your turn to go grocery shopping."

"Oh," Heero replied. "Is that all you wanted to bother me with?"

"Yes," said the usually quiet Trowa. Heero just nodded, then continued to scream until his throat became hoarse about twenty minutes later. Outside the apartment, Trunks and Goten still had their ears covered, wondering how much longer it would be before their eardrums finally burst.

-----  
Heero growled as he walked out of the Wal-Mart Supercenter. (Yeah, I know...AC 198, and those damn things still exist! X.x) 'That is the LAST time *I* have to go shopping!' Heero angrily thought. He had the strangest feeling that he was being followed, and each time he would check someplace where he thought the 'stalker' would be, and managed to knock over a crapload of displays in the food section. So, after having to pay the store $300 for the messed up food and getting his groceries, he headed home. "What more could possibly happen to me today?" he muttered to himself, then he started daydreaming about Relena and himself at a secluded tropical beach in the South Pacific...

Nearby, Trunks and Goten were armed with tape recorders, video cameras, and regular cameras. They were hot on the trail of the mysterious, elusive Heero Yuy. They narrowly avoided being caught by the strange creature as he was in search of food for himself and his fellow beings in the store. Now they were stalking Heero as he was heading back to his dwelling, better known to people as his apartment. 

"You know, Trunks," Goten whispered off-camera. He was the one operating another one of the cameras that Trunks had managed to get from 'Hammerspace'. (Yes, normally women can access it, but Trunks needed the video camera ASAP! :P) "This is kinda what my little daydream thing was like..."

"Shut up, Goten!" snapped Trunks, then he turned around to face the camera. "As you can see, the beast is heading back to his dwelling and...OH NO! He has just run into the lovely Miss Relena Peacecraft, the former Queen of the World and the headmaster of the world-renowned Peacecraft Academy, located right here in the pacifist Sanq Kingdom! How will the beast handle this one?"

"Damnit! I'm sorry, Miss--RELENA!?" Heero squeaked, looking into Relena's beautiful aquamarine eyes. He started blushing, even though he had no idea that was what you called that hot feeling on your face. Relena looked back at the 'Perfect Soldier', smiled at him, and helped him up. 

"Heero! How are you?" Relena inquired, hoping to start a conversation with her...'crush'. Heero suddenly realized that he was blushing and turned away. "I heard about your little call earlier this morning..." Heero stopped looking around and gave Relena his patented Death Glare. 

"What about that call?" Heero asked, as if it were nothing. He focused on trying NOT to blush even more than he already was, but it was proving to be an impossible task. 

"Well, Milliardo was pitching a screaming fit about you asking him out on a date," Relena explained, watching Heero's face become even brighter. "Of course, laughing at him wasn't helping at all, so he became even angrier and threatened to kill you for no reason. Noin somehow managed to calm him down and explain to him that you were probably playing a joke on him--"

"When do I ever play jokes on your brother or anyone?" Heero snorted, slightly pissed at the fact he made himself sound like a total moron to Zechs on the phone. 'He will NEVER let me live that one down...' he thought crossly, then imagined all the lovely ways he could possibly kill the 'Lightning Baron'.

"How true," she responded, then sighed. "Why were you calling my house anyways, Heero?" She knew there was more to that story than Heero was telling her. 

Heero glared at Relena once more. 'Ah, what the hell, just ask her out right here, right now!' his conscience told him. He smirked, then whipped out his gun.

Meanwhile, Trunks and Goten had intently watched the entire escapade. When they saw Heero whip out his gun from that interdimensional pocket thing he keeps it at and aim at Relena, their jaws were on the ground. The boys picked up and held one another's jaws closed, and grabbed the camera.

"I don't believe it, Goten!" Trunks whispered, grinning. "We're gonna be the witnesses to a murder!"

"Yeah! And it's the one Mr. Yuy promised to commit a long time ago!" Goten added, then worked on focusing the camera so the 'evidence' would be good...

Heero grinned some more, then sighed. "Relena, will you go out with me?' Heero asked in a barely audible tone. Relena was shocked, then recovered from it and gave Heero the 'did you just ask me what I **thought** you asked me?!' kind of look. Heero replied to her look with his own, the Death Glare.

"Well...OF COURSE I WILL!" she replied, the glomped poor Heero. Heero blushed some more, grinned like an idiot, then fainted.

Goten's jaw dropped once again, then he blurted out, "See, Trunks!? I **told** you that it was just like my daydream!!!!" Trunks, slightly annoyed at the fact Goten, for once, had been right, slapped him across the face. Goten rubbed his face, and looked like he was going to cry. "Why'd you do that, Trunks?"

"You were starting to annoy me," Trunks answered in a Vegeta-like tone. Goten shuddered, then sighed. "WHAT!?! Why are they just going on their happy little way!?!" Trunks screamed, not caring who (or what) found them in their hiding spot. Goten looked across the street and saw Heero going back to his apartment, and Relena headed towards the Wal-Mart Supercenter. 

"So much for the murder, ne Trunks-kun?" Goten asked, grinning. Trunks was about to agree with him, when an idea popped into his evil little head, and made him grin.

"No, Goten," Trunks said, taking the camcorder from Goten and turning it off. "You see, he's going to invite Miss Peacecraft to dinner THEN he'll kill her! It's PERFECT!" Goten thought about what Trunks just said, then nodded in agreement.

"So, this means we get to move on to part two of our documentary/witness to Relena Peacecraft's murder?" Goten asked, and saw his best friend nod **his** head in agreement...

-------------------------------------------  
A Cliffhanger! Whee! Now, for an explanation....

I know, I haven't been uploading or writing a lot of fics lately, but that's because I've been busy with stuff. (Sigh, the real world sucks... :( ) Therefore, I don't know what I'm going to do about  Seventh Grade Teacher?, especially when school is around the corner, ready to start anytime now. ;_; Basically, I'm trying to say that future parts of  Seventh Grade Teacher? are going to continue being few and far in between... ;_; Sorry! I might even just give up writing the fic.... :( 

Oh well, enough of that crap! Did you like this first installment of this omake? Tell me in the review, please!


	2. Part 2

Heero Yuy, Seventh Grade Teacher? Omake 2b   
Spring Break - Part 2!  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, Dragonball Z, or Sailormoon, but I like to pretend that I bought the rights to Heero Yuy from Sunrise. :P  
Note #1: This Omake will be broken into 'parts', since I really don't feel like having to upload a 100+k file!  
Note #2: Yeah, I decided to continue working on  Seventh Grade Teacher, and at least finish it before I go into psudo-retirement. All the glomping, ranting, angry mobs, threats of murder, and animal sacrifices helped me decide that the Seventh Grade Teacher? story must be completed! An additional note about this omake: It helps to have read Omake 2a, or else you won't have *any* idea what's going in this story... X.x (See? It's all connected! X.x)  
*********************

Trunks and Goten sat in the bushes where they had been watching and taping Heero from. The two demi-Saiyajin boys had decided to continue stalking their history teacher, since they honestly thought he would kill Peacecraft Academy's beloved principal, and the former Queen of the World, Relena Peacecraft. 

"Trunks-kun," Goten managed to squeak out ten minutes later. Trunks gave the other half-alien boy his version of the Vegeta Glare. (Not to be confused with the Heero Yuy Death Glare. Those are two completely different things... X.x) "Where do you think Mr. Yuy will take Miss Peacecraft on their date tonight?"

"No clue," replied the Purple Haired Wonder as he took the camcorder out of Goten's hands. He rewound, then replayed what Goten recorded. Trunks laughed his rear off when the videodisc (Hey, it's A.C. 198, I *hope* they still aren't using VHS tapes... X.x) played the part where Heero whipped out that famous gun of his and slightly hesitated when asking Relena "the question." He tried to think of places the Perfect Soldier could possibly take Miss Peacecraft, but kept drawing a blank. He then got a bright idea, and turned to Goten, who was trying to get a tape player working.

"Goten, let's head back to Mr. Yuy's apartment," he said, and Goten nodded in response. They gathered all of their 'equipment' in record time, and went back to the apartment building to discover what was going on with their oh-so-wonderful teacher.

-------  
Fifteen minutes later, we see two boys levitating near one of the windows of the apartment Heero shared with Duo and Trowa. Goten had the camcorder loaded with another videodisc, ready to record the next part of Trunks' documentary. He handed Trunks a microphone, and pressed the "record" button. Trunks faced the camera and smiled.

"Welcome back, viewers!" Trunks said in a slightly louder than a whisper voice. "Now, we showed you in part one the Heero Yuy creature's morning activities, where he goes to gather his food, and his rather...peculiar way of trying to attract a mate. Now, let's find out how the 'Perfect Soldier' acts just before a date." Both Trunks and Goten turned towards the window and look in.

****

Inside the apartment, Heero had Duo and Trowa sit on the couch, with their feet tied together and handcuffed to each other. Heero could be seen frantically running around the apartment, not having any idea what to do. 

"Ahh! What do I do? Help!" Heero screamed as he ran to Trowa, grabbed him by his shirt collar, and shook him. "What should I wear? Where should I take Relena? AHH!" When Heero finally stopped shaking him, Trowa's eyes were spirals and he was *extremely* dizzy. Heero screamed some more, and ran back towards his room. Duo sighed.

"Oi, Heero, you wanna know what would help?" Duo said. Heero stopped in his tracks, became silent, and turned around.

"What, Duo?" Heero said in a rather curious voice.

"You should try putting on some boxers," Duo suggested to the pilot of Wing Zero. Heero looked down, saw that he had nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist on, and blushed. 

"Hrm...thanks for the suggestion, Duo," Heero said, and headed back to his room. When he came out of the room, he started running around like a chicken with it's head cut off once more, only this time dressed in boxers. Trowa finally recovered from his dizzy spell and watched Heero once more.

"Hey Heero, nice Sailormoon boxers," Trowa said, with a slight smirk on his face. Heero stopped running, looked down, and blushed once again. There were little crescent moons and Sailormoon faces all over the underwear.

"Shut up!!" Heero snapped back. "What about you and your glow-in-the-dark Pokémon ones?" Trowa stopped laughing, and sweatdropped. 'Gotcha!' Heero thought, with a satisfied grin on his face. Duo laughed at both pilots.

****

Outside, Trunks and Goten were snapping pictures like mad and laughing at all three people in the apartment. They watched as Heero dashed back into his room to find another pair boxers and laughed some more. Unfortunately, Duo and Trowa noticed the flashing lights that seemed to be coming from the window. The pilots of Deathscythe Hell and Heavyarms managed to get over to the window somehow, and opened the window together. The demi-Saiyajin boys didn't notice anything until Duo spoke up.

"Hi Trunks, Goten! Long time no see!" Duo greeted his former students. Trunks and Goten sweatdropped and nearly dropped the camcorder. "Don't worry! We aren't going to tell Heero you're here!"

Trowa looked at the two strange boys who were floating in the air. At first, he thought he was hallucinating, but when Duo started talking to them, he knew it was real. "Duo, HOW are they floating in the air like that?!" the normally silent boy asked. Duo laughed, then looked at the boys. Trunks sighed.

"We're part Saiyajin, and we have a lot of ki," Trunks explained. "With ki, you can fly and do these super cool attacks, like this." He turned around, and looked for something to shoot. He saw a nearby tree, and did his Burning Attack, which ended up turning the tree into toast. Trowa's eyes widened, but people could only see the one eye that wasn't covered by his unibang get bigger. Trunks turned back to Duo and Trowa and smiled. 

"Isn't that cool?" he asked. Trowa fainted in response, and Duo sweatdropped and nodded as he slowly backed away from the window. 

"Um, boys...What are you doing here?" Duo asked. It was Trunks and Goten's turn to sweatdrop. 

"We're making a documentary on Mr. Yuy," Goten explained. "We've been spying on him since yesterday."

"Don't you know you guys can get in trouble for stalking Heero?" Trowa asked the two part Saiyajins after recovering from his fainting spell. Both of looked at each other, looked back at Trowa and shook their heads. The boy formerly known as Nanashi nearly fainted once more, but then heard Heero coming down the hallway. "Uh-oh..." he muttered. Duo grabbed Trunks and Goten, pulled them inside, then threw them into a closet.

"You two be quiet!" Duo whispered right as Heero reappeared in the living room, with a purple polka-dotted yellow tie around his still bare neck. In his right hand, he held a bunch of green tank tops, and in his left hand, he had a bunch of black spandex shorts. He was still wearing the pink Sailormoon boxers.

Duo and Trowa looked at what Heero held in his hands and sweatdropped. "Uh, Heero...what's with all the tank tops and shorts?" Duo asked. Heero gave him the Death Glare and placed the shorts and tank tops on the couch. Trunks and Goten, armed with the still recording camcorder, opened the closet door a little so they could get a better view of Heero and hear his explanation.

"Well, you see, Duo..." Heero began as he picked up one of the tank tops. "This has a mustard stain, and another one had chocolate syrup spilled on it. And these shorts," Heero grabs a pair of the spandex shorts. "have this *really* stubborn grass stain in them. This pair still has mud in it..." Duo sighed, as Trowa continued to sweatdrop and the Saiyajin boys Duo threw in the closet rolled around in there, laughing at their silly teacher.

"Ok, Heero! I get the point!" Duo snapped as Heero was getting into the story of how his 'favorite' green tank top had a rather nasty bloodstain from the time he had to help Une take Mariemaia to the hospital after she was shot. "As for what to wear to your dinner date with Relena, come with me." Trunks and Goten watch as Heero followed Duo down the hallway.

-----  
Ten minutes later, Trowa at the closet, talking to Trunks and Goten. The three of them were busy talking about the Japanese pilot himself, when they heard Heero and Duo coming back. Trowa quickly closed the door, and accidentally slammed the door on poor Trunks' hand. Goten managed to cover his friend's mouth before he started to yelp out in pain.

"Trowa, I present to you...Heero Yuy!" Duo exclaimed. Heero came out of the dark hallway, dressed in a...very nice suit. "Doesn't he look good?" Trunks and Goten, who cracked the closet door open once more, had their jaws on the ground after they saw Heero. Trowa just nodded, and Heero smirked. 

"I hope that's a good sign," Heero said, heading towards the coffee table. He picked up a phone book and made a reservation at a really fancy French restaurant. Then, he called the flower shop Lady Une co-owned and ordered a bouquet of red roses. After that, he called Relena and told her he would come and pick her up soon. 

"Awww....our Perfect Soldier is going on his first date!" Duo said teasingly. Heero gave Shinigami the infamous Death Glare and grunted. "Well, it's true!" Duo was about to say more, but was cutoff by the gun barrel that was level with his nose. Heero checked his watch, then grabbed his car keys and left. Trunks and Goten came out of the closet, and looked at Duo and Trowa. 

"We're gonna follow him," Trunks told Duo. The American laughed, and gave them the address of the restaurant where Heero would be going with Relena. Goten thanked him, gathered the equipment with Trunks, and headed off towards the central part of the Cinq Kingdom.

-------  
"Heero! This is wonderful! How'd you manage to make reservations HERE!?" Relena said as she and Heero entered Le Chambord (Don't ask me what THAT means, I don't speak French!), the fancy restaurant Heero made the reservations for their dinner. In her arms she carried the rather large rose bouquet Heero got her. Heero just shrugged as they followed a waiter to their table. Little did this happy little couple know that they were being followed...

****

"Goten! Are you filming it!?" Trunks asked excitedly. The other Saiyajin nodded in response, then was whacked in the back of the head by Trunks. "Don't do that when you're busy operating the camcorder! You'll make it look like there's a earthquake happening!"

"Owwww, Trunks-kun!" Goten whined. "That hurt!"

"It was SUPPOSED to!" Trunks snapped back, then turned his attention back to the couple inside Le Chambord. Heero and Relena were both looking at their menus in silence, and there was a Chinese waiter heading towards their general direction. He seemed to be slightly pissed off.

****

"Damn this place! If I didn't need the money, I wouldn't work here!" Wufei growled as he went towards table 37. He was working as a dishwasher, a cook, and a waiter at Le Chambord part time, since the Preventers received yet another salary cut. He stopped in his tracks when he saw who was seated at that particular table. "WHAT!?!? What the HELL is *Yuy* doing with that *weak onna* Relena Peacecraft in *this* restaurant!?!?! INJUSTICE! I will NOT serve them!" He turned around and headed back to the kitchen when he ran right into his boss.

"Wufei! What are you doing!?" snapped his boss, who looked incredibly like Treize. Wufei started to sweatdrop, then crossed his arms over his chest. 

"I will not serve those weaklings at table 37," Wufei replied in his 'I'm not in the mood to deal with your crap' voice. His boss narrowed his eyes, and grabbed Wufei's shirt by the collar.

"Listen to me, little man," his boss growled. Wufei grunted, ready to beat the crap out of this person. "You **will** serve the customers over at table 37, or I'll see to it that you NEVER get a job _anywhere_ in this town again! Do you understand me!?"

"Perfectly," Wufei muttered, and grunted again. He headed back to table 37, and mentally agreed with himself that if Yuy or 'his weak onna' started asking him about his job here at Le Chambord, he would use his concealed knife and slit their throats.

****

"Where the hell is that waiter?!" snapped Heero. He was ready to blow off that other idiotic waiter's head for telling him it would only be a minute. It was now five minutes later, and they still hadn't been served. Relena looked at Heero, and placed her hand on one of his.

"Now, now, Heero," Relena said in her 'diplomatic' voice. "Look around. Can't you see how busy this place is at this time of the evening?" Heero grunted in agreement and Relena smiled. At that moment, a familiar looking waiter appeared at their table.

"Welcome to Le Chambord, what do you want?" Wufei asked them in a monotone voice, hoping to whatever gods existed that neither of them would recognize him. Thankfully for him, they were busy looking at the menus. 

"Another Preventer salary cut, ne?" Heero asked, still checking out the menu. Wufei's eyes narrowed, and he bit his bottom lip to prevent him from screaming out 'Damn you, Yuy!'. 

"Yuy, Stupid onna, give me your damn order," Wufei growled, not wanting to deal with any longer than he absolutely had to. Heero and Relena gave Wufei their order ten seconds later. Wufei growled some more, then disappeared into the kitchen area. He gets their order, and on the way back, he walks past an open container of cayenne pepper.

"Hmm...Heero ordered the biftek," Wufei muttered, then got a mischevious grin on his face. He put the plate with the biftek down, and grabbed the cayenne pepper...

****

Trunks and Goten, from their hiding place under a nearby table, laughed their asses off at the scene. They couldn't believe that a former Gundam pilot was working at a restaurant as a waiter. Goten stopped the camcorder, since it was time to load in another blank videodisc. Trunks wondered when and *where* Mr. Yuy was going to kill their principal, then he thought about where he would possibly hide the body. He managed to come up with a few ideas, when Goten punched him in the arm to get his attention. Trunks snapped out of his 'trance' and looked where the other Saiyajin was pointing at. He saw Heero running around, screaming something...

****

"Relena! Get me something to drink! This thing is loaded with cayenne pepper!" Heero managed to say before he began panting like a dog sitting outside on a hot day. Wufei stood nearby, with a grin on his face that one would see on either a murderer or a psychopath. Relena managed to find a glass of water and gave it to Heero, who drank it all in one gulp. 

"Arigatou, Relena," Heero said, then glared at Wufei. The Chinese ex-pilot was standing there, grinning like an idiot. "Damn you!" Heero pounced Wufei, and started beating the crap outta poor Wufei. Relena stood there, screaming and trying to get Heero to stop, and the other customers were calling the police and 911. 

Out of nowhere, Quatre appears and watches the fight. "Guys! Please, stop it! You shouldn't be fighting!!!" he said. Both Heero and Wufei stop hitting each other for a moment.

"SHUT UP, QUATRE!" they both snap, then continue to beat the hell out of each other. Quatre sighed, then looked at Relena.

"At least you tried, Quatre," Relena said, trying to cheer up the sensitive Arabian. Quatre nodded in agreement. In the end, Wufei is taken to the hospital, while Heero was kicked out of the restaurant and received only a black eye. Heero growled, vowed to get his revenge on Wufei, and decided to take Relena home.

****

From their hiding spot, the boys managed to tape the entire thing while laughing at the two fools fighting like kids. They were surprised that their history teacher did so well in a fight without using any weapons, considering the fact he was a full blooded human. Their opinion about the Chinese pilot dropped drastically after that little...spat.

"Let's follow them, since I think Mr. Yuy's going to kill her now," Trunks whispered. Goten agreed, and both boys ran out of the restaurant and continued stalking Heero and Relena.

****

Trunks and Goten followed Heero and Relena to the Cinq Kingdom palace. They managed to find a good spot to spy, I mean observe, the couple from in a tree close to the gates of the palace. Trunks told Goten to zoom the camcorder as much as he possibly could into the area where Heero and Relena seemed to have their conversation. 

"Now, viewers, observe the Heero Yuy creature as he continues flirting with the female," Trunks whispered into the microphone as he intently watched the couple below, and used his handy Saiyajin hearing to eavesdrop onto their conversation.

"Um...thank you for the wonderful evening, Heero," Relena said, turning to Heero, who was leaning against the gate silently. She had a small smile on her face that disappeared when she saw him like that. "Heero? Are you mad at me?"

"No," replied Heero. Relena was a little surprised, seeing how when Heero was in that kind of a mood, he wouldn't tell anyone a damn thing. "I failed my mission..."

"What mission?" Relena asked, then it dawned on her. "Heero, you didn't fail your mission. I had a lot of fun, really!" Heero gave Relena a somewhat less...menacing version of the Infamous Death Glare.

"Really?" Heero asked, and saw Relena nod. "Good. Mission complete."

"Almost..." Relena whispered, then gave her perfect soldier a kiss. Trunks and Goten, who were watching them *very* closely, fell out of the tree and managed to levitate just before they went 'splat' onto the ground. Goten sighed as Trunks growled.

"Shimatta! I thought he was going to kill her!" Trunks muttered as he watched Heero end the kiss and walk off. Goten turned off the camcorder, and looked at his friend.

"Does this mean Mr. Yuy's not going to kill Miss Peacecraft!?" Goten asked, slightly disappointed because he wasn't going to see a murder tonight.

"No! I think Mr. Yuy mentioned something about taking Relena to the beach tomorrow, so he'll probably do it then!" Trunks said. Goten sighed, and thought Trunks was a little *too* obsessed with the idea of Mr. Yuy killing someone...

---------------------------  
Ahhhh! Another evil cliffhanger! ^^; This part kinda stunk too, especially the dinner and after-dinner scenes. (Sorry, romance just isn't my thing, what can I say? ^^;) Let me know what you think about this part of the spring break omake in your review, please! ^_^ 


	3. Part 3

Heero Yuy, Seventh Grade Teacher? Omake 2c   
Spring Break - Part 3!  
Disclaimer: if $char = "Heero Yuy"; "Duo Maxwell"; "Trowa Barton"; "Trunks"; "Goten";  
then { print("These do not belong to Kala Mekiv, they are property of their  
respective owners.") } How's **that** for a disclaimer?  
Note #1: Does anyone have *any* recall on this story?  
Note #2: No, seriously, who actually REMEMBERS this story?  
Note #3: It helps to have read the first two sections of the story, or else you won't have *any* idea what's going in this story... In a way, it's like _Lain_: It's all connected. :x  
********************* 

"Wow, Heero!" Relena exclaimed as she got out of the car Heero was "permanently borrowing" from Quatre and looked at the private beach they had gone to. Heero smirked and went to the trunk to get a picnic basket and some other miscellaneous things. Little did this happy little couple realize that this quaint little beach was far from being as "private" as they wanted it to be.

***

Hiding behind a near-by sand dune, two men and two demi-Saiyajin boys stuck their heads out, one above the other like a totem pole. Goten's face was hidden behind the camcorder that was plastered to his head, trying to get some interesting shots of the couple standing less than 200 feet away from them. Trowa, wanting a better view of Heero and Relena, held his infamous unibang away from his face. Duo, standing right below him, was covering his mouth to prevent him from blurting something out. Trunks, equipped with a microphone, turned it on and began another one of his narrations to the "documentary."

"The final day of our documentary. Last time, the Yuy creature took his potential mate to an expensive French restaurant, where they dined on fine, spicy dishes." Trunks said, managing to stifle a chuckle. "Apparently, the Peacecraft female isn't as interested in Heero as she previously thought, so the Yuy creature is going to do something horrible. Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in known history, we are about to witness what happens when a female turns down the Yuy creature." Trunks wanted to continue, but Duo bonked him on the head.

"Young grasshoppa, you have much to learn," Duo said, grinning. Trunks rubbed the spot on his head where he was hit and gave the Deathscythe Hell pilot a Vegeta death glare. Duo sweatdropped, and continued grinning like an idiot. "Heero's not going to kill---oh no, here he comes again." Trowa, Duo, Trunks, and Goten moved their heads back behind the sand dune as Heero and Relena walked by.  Goten focused the camcorder closer on the couple and gasped.  Shoved into Heero's belt was a machete that appeared to have been thoroughly cleaned and sharpened.  

"Trunks-kun!  Look at this!" he whispered excitedly as he handed the machine over to his best friend.  Trunks aimed the camcorder on Heero and Relena and watched from the view screen and saw the machete.  Quickly, he poked Trowa and Duo to get their attention and pointed to the image on the view screen.

"Holy Shinigami!" Duo exclaimed. "Where in the nine hells did Heero get THAT thing!?"

"It looks like he's been going through my stuff again," Trowa replied as he sighed.  Trunks, Goten, and Duo stared at Trowa, wondering where he had acquired such a weapon, and WHAT in the world he needed it for.  "I got it from Wufei when I had to fight him during the Mariemaia Incident two years ago."

Trunks sighed. "So, if our teacher is murdered, we can accuse you of providing the murderer with a weapon?"

'Whoa, buddy," Duo said, trying to restrain Trowa from killing the little demi-Saiyajin, even though **he** realized that nothing Trowa could do would have any effect on the boy.  "Look, I still think this idea that Heero is going to kill Relena over the break is a little farfetched---HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, HE'S HOLDING IT NOW!!"  Four pairs of eyes glued themselves onto the camcorder's view screen and jaws dropped in horror at the image of Heero having the machete raised high above his head.  He was chanting something, but none of the four people there could hear what he was saying, as they were too far away for the microphone to pick up anything.

***

"In the name of God, ye not guilty!" Heero shouted, holding the machete above his head. The blade came flying down at seemingly extraordinary speed as a woman's scream broke through the silence of the beach...

***

Two men and two demi-Saiyajins screamed in horror at the image they saw. They watched as the machete Heero Yuy, pilot of Wing Zero and Wing Gundams, the 'Perfect Soldier', the most hated seventh grade history teacher at Peacecraft Academy, plunged the sharpened machete into....

Into the center of the largest watermelon that any of the people present had seen in their lives. Relena squealed with delight as some of the juice leaked out of the fruit and splattered onto her pastel colored bikini top. Heero raised the machete up again, and stabbed it into the watermelon repeatedly. He was getting far to much pleasure out of this task, since he laughed like a maniac while he plunged the large knife into the heart of the watermelon again and again, giving himself a bath in watermelon chunks and juices in the process.

"Oh my GOD!" Duo covered his eyes, believing that Heero was **really** stabbing the former Queen of the World. Trowa, Trunks, and Goten were in stiches as they watched Duo bawl like a baby over Relena's "death". 

"So, Trunks-kun...does this mean we've just wasted a whole week stalking Mr. Yuy for nothing?" Goten asked in an innocent voice. Trunks sighed and nodded. The other boy broke into tears, exclaiming that he could have spent this whole week eating his mother's fine food instead of wasting time with Trunks and his stupid ideas. Trowa, who had been trying to convince Duo that Relena did NOT die, looked up and noticed the disappointment on the faces of the two boys. He whispered something to Duo, and the proverbial light bulb flickered on above the braided American's head.

"Boys," Duo said. Trunks and Goten stopped their moping and looked up at the man they considered their practical joke god. "You said you were doing this documentary so that you could have something good to show the students in your class?"

"Yeah," Trunks replied sadly. "But since there's nothing going on between them right know except for the fact they're busy making out, what does it matter?" Duo grinned, pointing the camcorder in the couple's location and let out a wolf whistle. He watched as the Trunks and Goten's principal and history teacher were making out...and beginning steps for doing something _other_ than making out. Duo managed to pry his eyes away from the free porno that was being recorded in front of his eyes to get to his point.

"Weeeeeeelll....I happen to know of a guy who can do some amazing things with video tapes. He has video editing equipment at his place, and if we give him this stuff, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to help you make one hell of a documentary for show and tell in school." Duo said with a evil grin on his face. The boys' faces lit up in excitement and begged Duo take them and their tapes to this friend of his.

***

Seven hours later...

"Domo arigatou, Mr. Marquise!" Trunks said as he, Goten, Trowa, and Duo left the Peacecraft mansion. Zechs had a room in the mansion that was dedicated solely to one of his greatest hobbies: video production. He had the latest in video editing equipment and was thrilled to help two seventh grade boys, Trowa, and Duo make a total ass out of his former (?) rival. With the videodiscs that the boys had provided him, Zechs managed to splice clips for all the discs to make into one very interesting documentary for all to see. He was quite proud of his handiwork.

"Eh, it's no problem, kid," Zechs replied with a sadistic grin. He was SO going to enjoy this.

***

"But sir, you HAVE to let us show this to Lady Une!" Trunks snapped. He and Goten were trying to present some "evidence" to the chief Preventer about the "disapparence" of Relena Darlian Peacecraft. The entire place was in Chaos, since no one knew where the Vice Foreign Minister had disappeared to, nor did they know with WHOM she had disappeared with. Wufei crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the two demi-Saiyajins from behind his desk.

"Why should I allow you weaklings to give this pathetic videodisc to my supervisor? For all I know, this is simply a recording of that weakling show Pokémon," Wufei growled, then he noticed Trowa and Duo walking in right behind the children, and released a low growl. "Maxwell, please tell me...."

"YES, I had something to do with it." Duo interjected. Wufei rolled his eyes in disgust, and turned around in his swivel chair so that he was facing the back wall. He **really** had no desire for one of Maxwell's jokes right now, especially since everyone he knew was getting their butts chewed out for not keeping an eye on Relena. "Wufei, what if we told you that with this videodisc, we can tell you exactly where Relena disappared to?"

"Maxwell, I **know** it's something that you concocted with Barton, these kids, and Marquise." Wufei growled, still facing the wall. Duo sighed, then marched towards Lady Une's office without Wufei's blessing. Wufei saw the group going ahead using his peripheral vision and sighed.

"Those idiots are going to be the death of me."

****

Heero and Relena walked up to the door of the lavish mansion. Together, they had spent two days at the beach, enjoying each other's company. Relena needed a break from the world that surrounded her, and was happy that she was able to get such a chance with the man she loved, Heero. Heero just needed a break from "those two idiots", better known to the world as Duo Maxwell and Trowa Barton, his beloved roommates. 'Now, here's my chance...' Heero decided as he stared into Relena's ocean blue eyes.

"Relena...I'm glad I got to spend the last couple of days with you," he began. Relena smiled in response, and wrapped her arms around the Perfect Soldier's waist.

"I know," she giggled. "I'm really glad you managed to take me away for a few days from this guilded rat cage. And, I'm happy I was able to spend time with you. There's something I need to tell you, Heero, I--"

"No," he interrupted. "Let me go first....Relena, I lo--"

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP, YUY!" boomed a highly pissed off voice over a loudspeaker. Heero raised his hands to the air as Relena screamed, wondering what the hell was going on. Suddenly, out of the bushes and surrounding trees, Wufei, Zechs, Trowa, Duo, and several Preventer agents appeared. Heero was now throughly confused.

"What the hell is going on here, Wufei?" Heero asked, giving the Chinese Preventer his patented Death Glare.

"You, weakling, are under arrest," Wufei calmly stated. Heero growled.

"Alright, you're pissed off because I kicked your ass at Le Chambord a few nights ago, aren't you?" Heero mused. Wufei recalled that night and growled once more, then slammed Yuy against the door face first. 

"I'm not in the mood for your crap, Heero," Wufei stated as he pulled out a pair of handcuffs. "Heero Yuy, you are under arrest for the kidnapping and attempted murder of Miss Peacecraft."

"WHAT!?!?!?!?!?" Heero bellowed. He could **not** believe this was happening to him.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and **will** be used against you in a court of law..." Zechs stated as Wufei hauled one highly pissed off Japanese man off into the car. Relena had long since fainted and did not see them taking her beloved to jail. Trunks and Goten, hidden in some bushes near where Duo and Trowa were standing fully dressed in their uniforms, laughed so hard that they cried.

"Oi, Trunks-kun," Goten said inbetween his bouts of laughter. "Everyone in class is REALLY going to enjoy this on Monday!"

"Hai," Trunks managed to reply as he continued laughing at his teacher's misfortune. Even though they never said it outloud, both of the demi-Saiyajin agreed that this spring break had been the best one they ever had.

*** OWARI ***

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Well, I **finally** managed to finish this freaking omake. It only took me a little over a year to do so, ne? ^.~ Well, hopefully now I can finish the normal SGT? storyline, since there's really only like....two chapters left to do. ^.^

Questions, comments, flames, offerings of Gundanium to Heero? Give them all to me at paradox@vauss.com, or simply review below! I'd really like to know what everyone thinks of this insane story. ^.^


End file.
